bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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