Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
