my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just want nice things and good sex
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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