I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
