people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
