What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My boob is missing a layer of skin
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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