Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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