would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
