I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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