Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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