Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
