Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Your cock deserves a montage
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
