So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Randomize
