Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
