Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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