there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
