I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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