like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
