i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
