oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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