I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Come on in and take your pants off
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize