Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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