i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
