Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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