Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
