i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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