Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
