is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
