Buhtt sex?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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