Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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