She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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