Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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