I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
