john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
