I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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