Cold hands, warm shart.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
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