So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
