Plan B is the new Plan A
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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