...so i touched it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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