You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
