do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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