come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize