remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
