He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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