Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize