Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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