He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I still have a little drunk in my system
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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