Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
