so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
