is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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