I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
