the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
