we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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