whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
