I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
