Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
