how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
