dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
