I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
