he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
