Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
