...so i touched it.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
