I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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