We're facebook friends in real life
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
